Engagement Season Resources

Our Experiences with Engagement Programs in the Catholic Church

During our engagements season, we were required by the Catholic Church to participate in/complete several different programs.  Each program helped us grow in our Faith and in our relationship with one another in different ways.  We are posting our experiences here for those who would like to know what to expect from each program.

Marriage Prep Course

The marriage prep course we took was recommended to us by our really good friend and mentor from the Academy.  It was an online course run by Chritian and Christine Meert in Colorado Springs.  The course really helped us explore the roots of marriage and helped us build a solid foundation of the theology behind marriage.  After setting that foundation, the course explored the practical aspects of marriage in light of the Church’s teaching.  It covered topics ranging from the institution of marriage as a Sacrament to the sacredness of sex in marriage; from why artificial contraception is against the Church’s teaching to proper financial management tips.  During each of the nine courses, we were given an assigned reading, after which we were required to answer anywhere from 15-40 questions.  Each question stimulated discussions that helped continue to build the foundation on which our relationship is founded.  We were also assigned a “tutor couple” who went over our responses to the discussion questions online.  They were very quick to give us feedback on our responses, providing us with a new perspective from which to see many of the Church’s teachings.  We HIGHLY recommend this course for anyone preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony, especially those who are not in the same state for most of their engagement.

The FOCCUS Questionnaire

The FOCCUS engagement questionnaire was a multiple choice worksheet administered to each of us by our deacon at Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  It’s a tool that the Church uses to ensure that couples getting married have already talked about all the potential obstacles they may have to overcome during their marriage.  It has over 200 statements such as “I am concerned about my partner’s spending habits,” to which a response of “I agree”, “I don’t know”, or “I disagree” is selected.  The questionnaire provided us with quite a few hearty laughs, as confusion in the answer sheet led Kamaya to believe that I was concerned about her “drinking problem,” among other things.  Her face was priceless as she sat puzzled at the other end of the table, racking her brain as to the last time she had drunk more than a single drink. All confusion and hearty laughs aside, it offered us the opportunity to look at our relationship from our partner’s point of view.

Engaged Encounter

Engaged Encounter is a weekend retreat that is offered by parishes all across the United States.  Two couples lead the retreat – they read from a personalized pre-prepared script about their experiences with the topic being covered.  After finishing the reading/talk, each couple is given time to write their own thoughts individually (men and women are separated for this part).  After about 15 minutes, the couple meets up in a dorm room and discusses what they have written.  We found the format of the talks to be a little impersonal at first, but realized that it helps provide uniformity and makes leading the retreat more accessible to the average, experienced Catholic couple living according to the teachings of the Church.  The couples that were on the retreat with us came from all walks of life, and it was awesome being able to hang out with them and share stories.  An advantage to the retreat is that it is not dependent upon the other couples taking the retreat with you.  Each couple gets out of the retreat exactly how much they put into it.  We found that even though some of the discussion questions might not apply, other questions could be taken to a deeper, more intimate level that could spur very fruitful discussions as a couple.

NFP Training

Complete training in the Art of Natural Family planning is given through four, two hour classes over the course of four months.  The four month time span allows the couples to start/get practice charting so that they are ready to live NFP by the time the wedding comes around.  Unfortunately, Maic was only able to attend one of the courses because of our distance during the engagement season.  This being said, however, he diligently went over the readings and helped look at the charts and analyze them as we were going through the training.  This helped us maintain the mindset that living NFP is BOTH of our responsibility, not just one person’s.  

15 November 2009 update

15 November 2009

The first two months of Marriage have been AMAZING, though hectic and crazy.  Thank you all for your prayers and for understanding about the late Thank-You cards.  For those of you who made it to the wedding, thank you so so much for coming and supporting us and helping make it an Epic Wedding :).  For those of you who weren't able to make it, thank you for celebrating it with us Spiritually and for keeping us in your prayers. 

Right after leaving the Breakfast at the Hotel on Sunday Morning, we headed to Mass at Our Lady of Mt Carmel.  It was incredible finally being able to share a complete Mass together as man and wife. 

After Mass, we left for our Honeymoon in Payson, Arizona.  It was an AMAZING week, just spending time together, walking around in God's beautiful creation, and doing some EXTREME outdoor things (ok, so the most extreme we got was crossing a creek...a great start...in 5 years we'll be crossing torrential rivers...).  K, so not that extreme.  Regardless, it was AMAZING.  We went into Payson and some nearby small towns and strolled, visiting the different antique and old book shops along the way.  We picked up some sweet things for our new home together, as well as several book series to pad our already bursting book-shelves.  

Maic was very cute when he would go into a bookstore and see a series he wanted; he would look up at Kamaya and say something like, "If I could only get six of these books...I think I'd get these six...but I don't know which one I'd choose between these two...I think I'd make this one the sixth book...oh, but the other one is so good, too.  I think I'd pick the other one as the sixth book."  Then we'd walk around looking at other stuff, and then randomly Maic would say, "Honey, can we please please get those six books?  I'd only get those six.  And their not that expensive..."  Kamaya would just Lovingly yet playfully stare back at him and say, "why are you asking me?  I thought you were already going to get them...:)"  Then Maic very happily ran back, grabbed the six books, and they were ready to check out.  As they were checking out, Maic half-commented to himself and half to his beautiful bride, "man, I don't know if I should have gone with this one or the other one..."  Kamaya then offered her "your so cute" look and said, "you know, I'm not the one who said you could only get six...why don't you just get seven?"  Maic's face all of a sudden lit up, and said, "Really?"  And Kamaya laughed and said, "Of course, my Love."  Then Maic ran and grabbed the book and made it back in two seconds.  Variations of this happened throughout the week (and will most likely happen for the rest of our lives...).

The best part of our honeymoon was being able to share prayer time together and begin living out our Sacrament of Matrimony.  We began our season of marriage by asking the Lord to give us the grace to completely and unselfishly give ourselves to each other.  The Lord's Grace is incredible.

After our honeymoon, we packed up what we could into the Nissan Versa (a whole garage full...so says Maic...Kamaya says a bit less, but still says it was an incredible packing job) and headed to Laughlin AFB in Del Rio, Tx.  We stopped in Tucson, then finished the rest of the 13 hour drive in one leg.  We had planned to stop in the middle, but we were just too excited to finally get HOME together.  We got home on  Saturday, the19th of September.

That week was filled with unpacking, filling out paperwork (so that Kamaya could officially, paperwork-wise, become Mrs. Kamaya Mayor and could become a member/dependent of the AF:) organizing, and packing yet again for our trip to Co.   We were out of our Home again by Friday, the 25th of September and on the way to Colorado for Initial Flight Screening (IFS) - the 4 week program where I learned to fly the DA-20, the Mighty Katana!

We got to Pueblo, Co a day early so we could go to Mass at USAFA the next day (Sunday, the 27th) and then made it to the inprocessing line 5 minutes before it closed...perfectly planned :).  Kamaya headed up to Boulder to spend some time with her sisters Nichole and Carly while Maic started a very LONG week of academics.  Good times.  Unfortunately, Maic got sick at the end of that week (a 6 day week btw) and Kamaya ended up going to Justin and Anna's wedding alone in the Springs (their wedding joins ours in the ranks of "EPIC", btw).  No worries, though, Kamaya was able to nurse Maic back to health in time for Monday so he didn't get too far behind in flights.  That Sunday night Maic dropped Kamaya off at the Pueblo Airport on her way to Minnesota - where she took off on the same runway that Maic would learn how to land and takeoff on.

Kamaya had a "Rockin'" time in Minnesota with Jessica Shell and the Catholic Community, Christ the Redeemer.  I volunteered in the Campus Outreach office (Saint Paul's Outreach, aka SPO), went to some AWESOME formation courses, and hung out with some AMAZING young men and women of God.  I spent quality time with some young families in the community, and was able to observe and learn a few things that we'd like to implement in our family.  They are amazing people.  I also helped plant a murder scene...and was present for the return of Moonica (the cow), the Monkey, and the Duck...just a small part of the ongoing pranks between the Men's and the Women's households.  Most importantly, I was able to spend some intense time in prayer, with the daily opportunity to participate in Praise and Worship.  Long story short - Love the community and wanna go back :)

Maic learned how to fly the Mighty Katana.  I woke up at 5:15am, got breakfast, went to our formal briefing, planned a flight or two, flew a flight or two, got lunch sometime in between, played basketball for 2 hours, studied, chatted and prayed with Kamaya over the phone, and went to sleep.  Weekends were great because I headed up to C-Springs to hang out with the USAFA peoples, who are AMAZING.  I love you, dearest brothers and sisters in Christ!!! 

Maic graduated from IFS on Friday, the 30th of October.  It took a little longer than expected because of weather and an un-expected do-over of a flight.  Oh well.  God is good and looking back we see why He wanted to spend another weekend in Co. 

We left C-Springs at 5pm, and drove all through the night to...Sterling City, TX.  Why did we stop there, you ask?  Flat tire.  Thank God for USAA....they towed us all the way to San Angelo where they had a Discount Tire and we were able get a new set of tires.  We got into Del Rio at about 1pm.  18 hours of travel and delay.  Good times :)

As for the rest...it's on our to-do list...lol.  We'll update it before Thanksgiving.  Come back and find out the answer to the Mystery question that EVERYONE's been asking us: Are we pregnant yet?  We'll eventually get a blog, too, to keep you all updated.  We'll post the web address to it here, too.  So come back and visit us for updates :)

Oh, and as for the Texas slogan, "Everything's bigger in Texas..." well, everything may not be bigger, but everything is definitely a lot slower.  We like it, though.  Glory to God.  Life is truly amazing.  We are Blessed.